When asked for my opinion, I usually say exactly what I think. I may take the soft approach or the hard road depending on the person, but I never sugar coat it. I also make sure I can defend the opinion and at times have been proven wrong. Who hasn’t? Tonight I was asked by my wonderful husband for my opinion on upcoming preparation for a CDE contest. I will not say what or who was involved for the sake of the students, but let’s just say that my opinion of their work was not taken well.
I think all spouses can relate – you want to be honest when asked of your opinion, but you also don’t want to hurt their feelings. So, my husband's students have worked hard in preparing for this contest and feel they deserve some praise. Contests become trickier when the written and spoken word become involved in a Career Development Event (CDE). After looking over the information, I may have said (Ok, I did say) that the item I looked over wasn’t up to the standards of the student or the program. I gave reasons for why this was and waited for him to nod and agree. My words were met with a stare and brief silence. A statement of ‘Well, that’s your opinion’ was muttered. Hmmm…. not the reaction I was going for.
My prerogative – to make sure his student was adequately prepared and had met the contest requirements to do well. His prerogative – I just dissed his kid and their combined efforts. If I hadn’t known who the student was, I would have had the same response as above. Since I did know that student, I was even more disappointed that it didn’t seem to meet the criteria of the contest. Thus, my opinion was given and then sent back.
I’m not sorry about what I said because I said what I felt was the truth. I am sorry, though, that it wasn’t received well and I hurt my husband's feelings. I love to help with contests and miss aspects of the preparations such as helping the student in editing and researching. Yet, I’m not sure if it’s worth the risk of disrupting my husband (and his students) pride and preparation in order to declare my own thoughts, even when asked for them.
But that’s just my opinion........
Post written by Alison Derringer